7 myths about Robin Hood

Robin Hood, an archetypal figure in English folklore. (Photo by Culture Club/Getty Images)

History Extra

Myth 1) Robin Hood was a real person

Robin Hood is an invented, archetypical hero, whose career encapsulates many of the popular frustrations and ambitions of his era. Robin (or Robert) Hood (aka Hod or Hude) was a nickname given to petty criminals from at least the middle of the 13th century – it may be no coincidence that Robin sounds like ‘robbing’ - but no contemporary writer refers to Robin Hood the famous outlaw we recognise today.
There were men like Robin Hood, however, such as fugitives who flouted the harsh forest laws [unpopular laws that retained vast areas of semi-wild landscape over which the king and his court could hunt], and these fugitives were largely admired by the oppressed peasantry. But the individual(s) whose deeds inspired the legend of Robin Hood may not have been called Robin Hood from birth, or indeed even during in his own lifetime.

Myth 2) Robin lived during the reign of Richard the Lionheart

Robin Hood is often portrayed as the enemy of the ambitious Prince John and the ally of his brother, the imprisoned Richard I (1189–99), but it was Tudor writers of the 16th century who first brought the three men together in this context.
Alternatively, Robin Hood has been identified (not very convincingly) with one of a number of Robin Hoods mentioned in the Wakefield Court Rolls during the reign of Edward II (1307–27), and, more probably, as a disinherited supporter of Simon de Montfort, who was slain at Evesham in 1265.
All we can say with certainty is that Robin the Outlaw had entered popular mythology by the time William Langland wrote The Vision of Piers Plowman in 1377. In it, Sloth the chaplain says: “I kan nought parfitly my Paternoster as the preest it syngeth, But I kan rymes of Robyn Hood and Randolf, Erl of Chestre.”
Unfortunately, it is not clear if Robin was associated with Ranulf ‘de Blundeville’, earl of Chester (d1232) in some way, or if the ‘rymes’ about them sprang from entirely separate traditions.

Myth 3) Robin Hood was a philanthropist who robbed the rich to give to the poor

It was the Scottish historian John Major who in 1521 wrote that “[Robin] permitted no harm to women, nor seized the goods of the poor, but helped them generously with what he took from abbots”.
But earlier ballads are more reticent: the longest, and possibly also the oldest, rhyme or ballad about Robin Hood is The Lyttle Geste of Robyn Hode, believed to have been written down c1492–1510 but probably composed c1400. It concludes with the comment that Robin “did poor men much good”.

_{Robin Hood, printed by Wynkyn de Worde. Caption reads: "A lytell geste of Robin Hode". (Photo by Culture Club/Getty Images)}
But while Robin is willing to lend to a knight who finds himself in financial difficulties, in The Lyttle Geste and in other early ballads there is no mention of money being distributed among the peasants or of society being reordered to their advantage. On the contrary, stories that have the outlaws mutilating a vanquished enemy and even killing a child on one occasion show them in a quite different light.

Myth 4) Robin was a dispossessed nobleman, the Earl of Huntington

Again, there is no real basis for this theory – the Robin of the early ballads is always a yeoman, and his attitudes are those of his class.
So from where did the idea originate? John Leland, writing in the 1530s, refers to Robin as a nobilis exlex – a noble outlaw, meaning, in all probability, that he was high-minded. And in 1569 historian Richard Grafton claimed to have found evidence in an “old and ancient pamphlet” that Robin had been “advanced to the dignity of an earl” on account of his “manhood and chivalry”; an idea subsequently popularised by Anthony Munday in his plays The Downfall of Robert, Earl of Huntington, and The Death of Robert, Earl of Huntington, both written in 1598.
Furthermore, Martin Parker’s A True Tale of Robin Hood, published in 1632, stated unequivocally that the “renowned outlaw, Robert Earl of Huntington, vulgarly called Robin Hood, lived and died in AD 1198”, but the real Earl of Huntingdon (the only possible interpretation of ‘Huntington’) at this date was David of Scotland, who died in 1219. Following the death of David’s son, John, in 1237, there were no more earls of Huntingdon until the title was granted to William de Clinton a century later.

Myth 5) Robin married Maid Marian at St Mary’s Church in Edwinstowe

Maid Marian is now as much a part of the Robin Hood story as Robin himself, yet she was originally the subject of a separate series of ballads. Curiously, the Robin and the outlaws of the earliest stories do not appear to have had wives or families – the only slight feminine interest was Robin’s devotion to the Virgin Mary.
The storytellers may have thought this devotion inappropriate in the years after the Protestant Reformation in the 16th century, and Marian may have been incorporated into the tales at this time to provide an alternative female focus. The ‘marriage’ of Robin and Marian inevitably followed.

_{c1880: Robin Hood and Maid Marian. (Photo by Buyenlarge/Getty Images)}

Myth 6) Robin was buried at Kirklees Priory in Yorkshire and his grave can today be seen there

According to legend, Robin went to Kirklees Priory for medical treatment (date unknown), was deliberately over-bled by the prioress, and with his last ounce of strength shot an arrow indicating where he wanted to be buried.
However, the Tudor writer Richard Grafton thought that the prioress had interred Robin by the side of the road: “Where he had used to rob and spoyle those that passed that way. And upon his grave the sayde prioresse did lay a very fayre stone, wherein the names of Robert Hood, William of Goldesborough, and others were graven. And the cause why she buryed him there was, for that the common strangers and travailers, knowyng and seeyng him there buryed, might more safely and without feare take their jorneys that way, which they durst not do in the life of the sayd outlawes. And at either end of the sayde tombe was erected a crosse of stone, which is to be seen there at this present”.
A drawing made by the Pontefract antiquarian Nathaniel Johnston in 1665 shows a slab decorated with a cross ‘fleuree’ (the standing crosses had presumably disappeared by his day), and the inscription “Here lie Roberd Hude, Willm Goldburgh, Thoms…” carved round the edge. Nothing is known of William of Goldesborough or Thomas, and the inscription was said to be “scarce legible” some years before Johnston drew it. Robin Hood could have been buried in a grave that already contained other bodies, but if the monument was erected shortly after his death (whenever that was), it is curious that there is no mention of it before about 1540.
Kirklees Priory came into the possession of the Armitage family following the Dissolution of the monasteries in the 16th century, and in the 18th century Sir Samuel Armitage had the ground beneath the stone excavated to a depth of three feet. His main fear was that grave robbers had been there before him, but in fact the real problem was the lack of a grave to rob. The site did not appear to have been dug previously, and Armitage concluded that the memorial had been “brought from some other place, and by vulgar tradition ascribed to Robin Hood”.
The stone was regularly attacked by souvenir hunters and by others who believed that pieces of it could cure toothache. The Armitages subsequently enclosed the site within a low brick wall topped by iron railings, the remains of which are still visible today.

Myth 7) Some of Robin’s friends, and equally some of his protagonists, can be identified with persons known to history

Little John, Will Scarlett and Much the Miller’s son are associated with Robin in the earliest ballads, but other members of his band – Friar Tuck, Alan a Dale, etc – were added later. Of these, Little John is undoubtedly the most prominent, but there are almost as many references to Little Johns – or John Littles – in contemporary documents as there are to Robin Hoods. The historical John is as elusive as his master, but what is alleged to be his grave in Hathersage churchyard in Derbyshire is not without interest. The stones and railings are modern, but part of an earlier memorial, bearing the weathered initials ‘L’ and ‘I’ (which looks like a ‘J’) can still be seen in the church porch.

_{c1600: the legendary hero and outlaw of medieval England Robin Hood with one of his Merrie Men, Little John. Original publication from the Roxburghe Ballads. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images).}
James Shuttleworth, who owned the manor, excavated the site in 1784, and found a particularly large femur 28½ inches long – a bone that is said to have been responsible for much ill luck until it was finally reburied. Two cottages, one in Little Haggas Croft at Loxley (Yorkshire) and the other in Hathersage (a village in the Peak District in Derbyshire), were said to be the houses in which Robin was born and in which Little John spent his final years respectively; but Robin’s was ruinous by 1637, and John’s was demolished in what was described as “recent times”.

An alternative approach has been to try to place Robin in a particular historical context by identifying some of his opponents, but the ballads refer merely to the Sheriff of Nottingham; the Abbot of St Mary’s, York; and others only by these titles – never to named individuals who held the offices between known dates. The lack of precise information is frustrating, but we should always remember that we are here dealing with popular literature, not with documents intended to record facts.
David Baldwin is the author of Robin Hood: The English Outlaw Unmasked (Amberley Publishing, 2010; reprinted in 2011).

History Trivia - St. Columba reports seeing a monster in Loch Ness, Scotland.

August 22

 392 Arbogast (Frankish general of the Roman Empire) had Eugenius (a Christian who was the last Emperor to support Roman polytheism) elected Western Roman Emperor.

476 Odoacer was named Rex Italia (King of Italy)) by his troops. His reign is commonly seen as marking the end of the classical Roman Empire in Western Europe and the beginning of the Middle Ages.

565 St. Columba reported seeing a monster in Loch Ness, Scotland.

851 Erispoe, King of Brittany, defeated Charles the Bald near the Breton town of Jengland.

1138 Battle of the Standard where English forces repelled the Scottish army led by King David I of Scotland.

1485 Richard III was killed at the Battle of Bosworth and Henry VII became the first king of the Tudor dynasty.

1642 Charles I  raises the royal standard at Nottingham, igniting the English Civil War.

The Wizard of Notts Recommends: Blast from the Past: Meadow Lane on the 28th April 1973

 

Films for 1973 include The Exorcist, Enter the Dragon and The Wicker Man. Dark Side of the Moon, Goats Head Soup and Quadrophenia were amongst the great albums released that year. in Britain, conflict between Ted Heath and the miner caused nationwide power cuts and the first gravediggers strike meant that bodies remained unburied at the side of the road. And in the US, Vietnam raged and Tricky Dicky was secretly listening in on the Democrats in a famous hotel in Miami. More importantly, Notts won 4-1 against Tranmere. The Wizard is in this photo somewhere. Note the fashions, the haircuts and the state of the pitch. None of the players ate pasta or food with green bits

The Wizard of Notts Recommends: Star Wars and Doctor Who stars will attend Nottingham sci-fi and fantasy convention Em-Con

Star Wars and Doctor Who stars will attend Nottingham sci-fi and fantasy convention Em-Con

By Nottingham Post  |  Posted: January 22, 2014

Read more: http://www.nottinghampost.com/Star-Wars-Doctor-stars-attend-Nottingham-sci-fi/story-20473292-detail/story.html?ito=email_newsletter_nottinghampost#ixzz2r8DROcmN



Torchwood Star Eve Myles

SCI-FI fans will be able to discover their inner Jedi at the inaugural Em-Con event at the Albert Hall.
The East Midlands Sci-Fi and Fantasy Convention on March 16 will be attended by cast members from the legendary Star Wars film series, as well cast members from Doctor Who, Game Of Thrones, Tron, Red Dwarf, Torchwood and many other films and TV series.
"The interest in the convention has been phenomenal," says organiser Lee Wallis.
"This is the first Em-Con and we've already had a massive response."
Tickets have been bought by fans from as far away as the US, France and Belgium.
As well as sci-fi and fantasy stars and crew members, there'll be a range of comic dealers and merchandise stalls.
"They'll be selling unusual and valuable objects," says Lee.
"One company produces jewellery for sci-fi and fantasy films, including the ring from the Lord Of The Rings films. There'll be replicas of that on sale."
But the biggest draw has been the celebrity guests who'll be on hand to meet fans and talk about the shows that they worked on.
"We've got stars from such a wide range of shows.
"Chris Barrie, Craig Charles, Danny John-Jules and Mac Macdonald will all be sharing the stage to relive their memories making Red Dwarf, answering questions from the audience and sticking around to meet fans.
"We've also got stars of Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Game Of Thrones.
"And there's David Warner, who has appeared in Doctor Who, Star Trek, Planet Of The Apes and more!"
Lee first noticed the popularity of the sci-fi and fantasy elements after attending a similar convention in Wales. It was this that convinced him to create an event in Nottingham.
He's already put on sell-out shows at The Approach, in the city centre, featuring stars of Red Dwarf, Game Of Thrones and This Is England.
"There is a huge fanbase for sci-fi and fantasy in Nottingham and I felt that their needs were not being met. It's the first of its kind in Nottingham."
Other stars booked include Torchwood stars Eve Myles and Kai Owen, Virginia Hey from Farrscape, Frazer Hines, Dan Starkey and Simon Becker-Fisher, who have all appeared in Doctor Who, plus Hannah Spearritt from Primeval and Gethin Anthony, Gemma Whelan and Miltos Yerolemou from Game Of Thrones. Local actor Andrew Shim, who has been in This Is and England and A Room For Romeo Brass, will also appear because of his appearance in the 2012 film UFO – later retitled Alien Uprising.
The early bird tickets for the event have already sold out, but tickets can still be purchased on the Em-Con website or on the door on the day.
"We're expecting a lot of people coming to the convention – it's going to be great fun," says Lee. "There will be something for everyone, including wild science fiction and fantasy costumes!"


Read more: http://www.nottinghampost.com/Star-Wars-Doctor-stars-attend-Nottingham-sci-fi/story-20473292-detail/story.html?ito=email_newsletter_nottinghampost#ixzz2r8DnkA23

The Wizard of Notts Recommends: Nottingham Hidden History Team

 

A view of the old Saxon Borough (Lace Market) and Narrow Marsh below
Credit: Ray Teece

 

 

A Brief History of Narrow Marsh

Posted on May 7, 2013 by nottinghamhiddenhistoryteam

by Joe Earp

Nottingham was originally founded on a sandstone outcrop, below which to the south, were flood meadows towards the River Trent. St. Mary’s Church was established on the eastern end of this outcrop, and the Saxon town developed here. In the 11th century, the Normans built a castle on the western side.


To aid the defence of this castle, they diverted The River Leen to flow below The Castle Rock, and from there it continued in an easterly direction, before turning south to meet the River Trent. It flowed below the eastern end of the town, it left marshy ground between it and the sandstone rock. The western and wider area was called Broad Marsh, and the narrowest part, Narrow Marsh. The road running parallel with the river was called
Leenside.
In the late 18th century, The Beeston Canal was cut and this roughly followed the line of The River Leen from The River Trent towards Nottingham and below the town on the sandstone. The River Leen was yet again diverted.
The areas of Broad Marsh and Narrow Marsh were therefore freed from flooding problems and they were built on.  There was a thoroughfare named Narrow Marsh, as well as the whole area being so called, and this was changed at one time to Red Lion Street, after the eponymous public house.
As has been said before, the Narrow Marsh area became notorious in the early 20th century as a very rough area. The area was notorious for its crime, poverty and slums, but that history is for another article as they say. It was reported that  policemen when patrolling Narrow Marsh would only venture in pairs.

A sky view of Narrow Marsh, Nottingham
Credit: Nottingham Hidden History Team

J Holland Walker (1926) in the Transactions of the Thoroton Society, briefly discusses the early history of Narrow Marsh:
“ONE hardly recognises Narrow Marsh under its modern name of Red Lion Street which was bestowed upon it in an access of zeal in 1905. I think the authorities must have come to the conclusion that the cup of wickedness of Narrow Marsh was full, and that the very name had something unholy about it and so they thought that by changing the name they could change the character of the inhabitants. Well, their intentions no doubt are very praiseworthy, but in attempting to get rid of the name of Narrow Marsh they have attempted to destroy an extremely interesting relic of the past, and in spite of the official and very prominent notice board displaying the brand new name of Red Lion Street, the name of Narrow Marsh holds its own pretty firmly to-day, and this is not to be wondered at. It is the natural name of the thoroughfare situated between the river Leen and the foot of St. Mary’s cliff, and it has been called Narrow Marsh with an astonishing variety of spelling ever since 1315, or the year after the battle of Bannockburn. In those far off days it was called “Parvus Mariscus,” “The little marsh,” and rather dignified it looks in its cloak of Latin. It was part of the route from south to north, thrust aside by the fortifications of Edward the Elder’s burgh and also perhaps is one of the oldest thoroughfares in Nottingham. Its age is very great and it must have existed for centuries before its debut into history in 1315. Its physical features are, of course, the great 70ft. precipice which overhangs it on the north, and the river Leen which alas ! has now vanished, on the south”.
In the late 18th century, The Beeston Canal was cut and this roughly followed the line of The River Leen from The River Trent towards Nottingham and below the town on the sandstone. The River Leen was yet again diverted.
The areas of Broad Marsh and Narrow Marsh were therefore freed from flooding problems and they were built on. There was a thoroughfare named Narrow Marsh, as well as the whole area being so called, and this was changed at one time to Red Lion Street, after the eponymous public house.
Broad Marsh and Narrow marsh areas were demolished in the 1930′s but redeveloped was piecemeal due to the intervention of The War.

Red Lion Street Demolitions, Narrow Marsh, Nottingham, 1933
Credit: Nottingham Hidden History Team

Leenside was renamed Canal Street, which still exists and is a major road in Nottingham. If you stand outside the BBC Nottingham building at the top of London Road and look towards St. Mary’s church, there is a cliff of sandstone, and the Narrow Marsh area was here, running eastwards towards what is now the Tram viaduct (see top image).
http://nottinghamhiddenhistoryteam.wordpress.com/2013/05/07/a-brief-history-of-narrow-marsh/
 

The Wizard of Notts Recommends: Notts County 2-1 Sheffield United, Final Whistle at Meadow Lane.

 

 Shaun Derry shows his passion as Notts win a Vital game against relegation struggles Sheffield United!

The Wizard of Notts Recommends: 'Skeletons could be plague victims

'Skeletons could be plague victims'

By Nottingham Post  |  Posted: January 11, 2014

 

               

A MASS burial ground dating to the medieval period has been identified in Nottingham city centre by an archaeologist.
Scott Lomax has been researching the site, on the east side of Cranbrook Street, since 2008.
A burial ground was excavated by amateur archaeologists on the east side of Cranbrook Street in 1963.
Approximately 70 skeletons were discovered and it appeared they had been buried hurriedly, at the same time, with no orientation and with bodies laying on top of one another at angles inconsistent with Christian burial.
At that time, their date and circumstances of death and burial were not known.
Mr Lomax won funding from a scheme operated by the Council for British Archaeology and submitted two samples from a skeleton for radiocarbon dating to the Oxford Radiocarbon Accelerator Unit at Oxford University.
The results show it dates from between 1415 and 1450.
Mr Lomax believes the skeletons represent victims of an epidemic who were buried outside the town to reduce the spread of the disease.
Mr Lomax added: "These people were hurriedly buried for a reason.
"They were also buried outside the town at a time when there were three churches with burial grounds, two friaries and a hospital, all of which had space for these burials.
"It all points to the very real possibility that these people were victims of some epidemic and bubonic plague has to be a strong consideration for further investigation.
He added: "I am hoping to secure funding to work with an international team of experts to determine if this is the case."

Read more: http://www.nottinghampost.com/Skeletons-plague-victims/story-20430605-detail/story.html?ito=email_newsletter_nottinghampost#ixzz2q6KIVifD

The Wizard of Notts Recommends: Jim Smallman The Football Neutral: Match Eleven – Notts County vs Wolverhampton Wanderers

http://thefootballneutral.com/2013/11/17/the-football-neutral-match-eleven-notts-county-vs-wolverhampton-wanderers/

Jim Smallman  - The Football Neutral: Match Eleven – Notts County vs Wolverhampton Wanderers

How apt that my travels should give me the chance to visit Meadow Lane, just a few days before England play Germany at Wembley to celebrate the 125^th anniversary of the Football Association.  I’d love to say that it was clever diary work, but that would be a massive fat lie.  Notts County are, of course, the oldest football league team in the world (something they like to remind you of in massive writing on one of their stands, and so they should).  They are also a team that I should, in theory, dislike because of my club allegiance.  But I didn’t before the game, and I certainly didn’t afterwards.
Quick rewind to last week and my trip to Connah’s Quay Nomads vs Newtown AFC.  Had some lovely feedback regarding my opinion on their excellent fans, so thanks for that.  Was also told that sat behind me at the game was Premiership referee Mike Dean, something I was blissfully unaware of.  If I’d have known I would have happily passed on any comments that you may have on his refereeing ability.
Don’t be daft, of course I wouldn’t.
Only once have I spoken to a referee, and it was from a distance during a game.  Leicester City away at Reading, and as I questioned the parentage of Andy D’Urso for not awarding a corner, we had one of those weird moments where everything goes quiet and he actually heard me.  We exchanged glances.  He smiled.  I felt incredibly silly.  I haven’t blushed that hard since I wet myself at school at the age of 5 whilst wearing yellow cotton trousers.  That day, I looked like Rupert the Vagrant.  I couldn’t help it, someone had told me that the toilets in our primary school were haunted and I genuinely believed them.  After that I favoured a darker trouser, lest accidents happen again.
This weekend I was booked for two gigs at Nottingham Jongleurs, a comedy club which actually sponsors the team I chose to go and support.  I can pretty much guarantee that will not happen again.  I am hoping this gets me a free replica shirt (natty purple away one, size large) because I very rarely take up my hotel allocation for both nights when I work at any Jongleurs and therefore am saving them money.  Look, I have to try something to get free stuff.  Stop looking at me like that.
This week I decided to actually, you know, put some planning in to my Saturday afternoon entertainment.  So I thought I would email the club and let them know I’m coming, ask for some tips and introduce myself.  It probably helps that by my own self-inflicted rules I cannot accept free tickets, because at least when I send a club an email they don’t think I’m after something for nothing (except free shirts when sponsored by one of my main employers).
Enter Jamie Dixon, head of media at Meadow Lane.  What a top bloke.  He sent me a list of twitter contacts for fans, told me where best to sit, offered to plug this very blog and was as accommodating as he could possibly be.  What a good egg.  He did also explain that County are struggling at the minute and any possible good luck that I could bring their way (my presence improved things at Guiseley and Bristol Rovers) would be most welcome.  What I liked most about Jamie is that he’s quite unashamedly a supporter of a different club – Walsall – but through his own hard work and dedication to the job has become part of the furniture at Notts County.  Very grateful to him for his help, and more on him in a bit.
I dropped a twitter message or two to the fans that he told me about on Thursday, and asked if they would be free for a chat before the game.  From a couple of them I was given the best reason ever why I couldn’t:  Because they’d be in Hull before the game and would only get back right before the whistle.  Why?  So they could watch the youth team play.
Think about that for a second.  The level of dedication it takes to get up early on a Saturday (they offered me a spare seat in the car but I can’t function on a Saturday morning around other humans), just to watch the kids from the team you support.  That’s amazing.  There was a time where I would go and watch Leicester’s reserves play, but that was because it was cheap and around the time of Sky kicking off with fireworks and cheerleaders, so “Family Night Football” – as it was known – became a fun night out with my mates.  Once my friend Lee got thrown out for pressing the red hot water button on the concession stand drinks dispensers in the old Carling Stand at Filbert Street, missing the entirety of a 9-0 victory over Oldham Reserves with around 6,000 in the ground.  I had to actually write that sentence out as it sounds like a quite ridiculous dream.
Therefore my expectations of utter dedication amongst the Magpie’s fans was high.  Especially as when most people think of football in Nottingham, they think of the dark side.  Forest.  Boo and hiss.
Had to put that last bit in for the benefit of my Dad. He PROPERLY hates them.
With my high hopes I set off from my house on Friday afternoon, needing to visit my parents before getting to Nottingham to meet an old work friend (who is, annoyingly, a Forest supporter).  Keen followers of me on Twitter will be aware that my Mum has recently come out of hospital after 6 weeks, following an operation to remove a brain tumour.  I offered to do their shopping.  If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you’ll know that no matter how hard I try, I get stuck in traffic every Friday afternoon.  It happened again.
An hour late to my folks, I then tried to negotiate a Morrisons supermarket on a Friday evening.  Every single person in there was walking around, mouth gaping, agog at the shiny floors, all looking like they’d never seen a supermarket before.  Every single person got in my way, because I have clearly sinned far too much in my 35 years and trying to get anywhere on time is no longer allowed.
Eventually I got finished, saw my folks far too briefly and headed off to Nottingham where I once again got stuck in traffic and my journey took double the time.  Then upon getting into the City Centre, Mickey Flanagan was playing at the Arena and so all parking spaces were used up.  I parked a million miles away and had a sweaty walk across town, lugging all my stuff with me and cursing that I’m not as successful as he is.  He is one of my heroes though, so I didn’t curse too long.
Once at the gig and changed, I found my old workmate Jono and chatted to him for a bit.  We used to work together at Next, and I can remember us mainly dicking around.  He left there a couple of years before me, and before I even started comedy.  He’s seen me once before, also in Nottingham.  When we worked together he introduced me to Ice Hockey, with him being a fan of the Nottingham Panthers.  He writes their fanzine, does a YouTube show about them and is as obsessed with them as I am with watching football in as many different places as possible.
I can credit Jono with parts of my comedy career.  When I started working at Next it was my first job after university, and I was cripplingly shy.  Because we used to have such a laugh, he made me realise I could be the centre of attention for good reasons, not just for wee-stained yellow trousers.  When he left Next I built a website dedicated to him.  It was a one page website entitled “Jono Loves Goats”, where I insinuated that he had romantic intentions towards farmyard animals.  It also contained the first jokes I ever wrote.  I told all of my colleagues about the site a week before I told him.  It remains my favourite ever practical joke.  In second place is one I talk about onstage where I stole a picture from my boss’s desk of his wife and kids, and then reprinted it with my face photoshopped onto his kids faces.  Of course at that point I was doing stand-up and wanted to be sacked so I could go on gardening leave and be paid to arse around in comedy clubs rather than in an office.
During the gig – which was quiet, presumably as everyone had gone to watch Mickey Flanagan – I could hear Jono’s laugh booming over everyone else’s.  Was glad he was there, as hours in the car and feeling under the weather didn’t prepare me too well for the show.  Got through it though.
I then retired to my hotel room, which is both the nicest I’ve seen in ages and also the smallest I have ever been in.  Should I have packed a cat with me, I would not have been able to swing it.  I kept making excuses to leave the room to stop the walls closing in.

Staircase wall, Hotel Mercure, Nottingham.

I ordered a pizza, and after 40 minutes my phone rang.  It was the delivery driver.  He breathlessly explained that the road my hotel was on was now closed to traffic, so could I come outside and collect my food?  I did so, leading to me in a dark alleyway taking delivery of my pizza and wedges in the shadiest looking deal I’ve been involved with for many a year.  Passers by looked to see what I was scoring:  Crack? Smack?  Nope, a personal 4 slice pizza with chicken, mushrooms and sweetcorn.  Rock and roll.
A sleepless night followed (I can’t sleep at the best of times, but in a tiny box without my Mrs is never going to lead to 10 hours kip).  Even worse, every time I woke up I’d put the TV on for a few minutes.  For some godforsaken reason they had sorted all the channels into ALPHABETICAL ORDER. Who does this?  What kind of monster would subject me to that?
In the morning I went for a wander round Nottingham.  This was by accident, as I find it the most confusing city centre in the world.  Here’s the thing:  I grew up about 30 miles away.  I’ve worked there dozens of times.  I should know my way around.  I know my way around London better.  In fact, I know my way around Singapore and Los Angeles better than I do Nottingham.  I don’t know why I find it so baffling, but I will say this:  It’s a very pretty city.  As I write that I can feel my Father sharpening a knife.
My twitter feed is full of people that I like.  I only follow people that I know in real life or who are seriously funny.  Many of them enjoy coffee.  I don’t get that.  A couple of weeks back they were all going mental for the new red cups that signify winter is here (apparently).  As it was bloody freezing, I thought I would sample me one of those special beverages.  A gingerbread latte (the woman in front of me was obsessed with the amount of foam in her drink for some reason) was purchased.  It was tolerable.  I will never understand coffee snobs, in the same way that I’ll never get why people care about wine.  Or olives.
After too long walking around I dropped my bag back at my car in the Broadmarsh Centre, which is not a prison.  In some parts of the shopping centre it does seem to be one, or a very elaborate zombie movie.  They had their Santa’s Grotto set up, which is apparently in 4D.  How?  How is there a 4^th dimension? STOP USING PSEUDO SCIENCE TO BAFFLE OR ENTICE CHILDREN.
It’s a pleasant walk from the city centre to Meadow Lane, through some pretty streets, along the river and past a Hooters.  I went in there with a mate once who made me swear that I’d never tell his wife that we were there.  For some reason people think it’s a strip club, rather than a sub-par version of TGI Fridays.  Presumably there’s one in Nottingham to capitalise on the stag party scene, with men flocking from far afield to realise the oft-spoken fact of there being 8 times more women than men in the city is actually an urban myth.
On my walk I bumped into two fans.  They were clad in black and white, scarves proudly on display and talking excitedly about the game.  Except they weren’t speaking English, but Italian.  We all know the association between Juventus and Notts County from eons ago, but I was genuinely surprised to see two Juve fans attending the game.  I tried to chat with them about it but neither spoke any English and my Italian stretches as far as telling a policeman than a child has stolen my wallet (the only phrase I can remember that I uttered during a trip to Naples).  Was a shame, but we shook hands and bonded briefly over football.
Media man Jamie had retweeted something I’d written about attending the game, so I had a few tweets from County fans to read through.  Most suggested that the real comedy was on the pitch at the moment, and one suggested that I bring a noose to the game.  Could it really be that bad?  I was at least going to the first home game of a new era of management at the club, with Shaun Derry installed as the gaffer.  I’ve always liked him, mainly because he’s spent the last few years patrolling midfields with the swagger and hair of Paul Weller.

Was nice to be early to a game for the first time in ages.  Ticket purchased, I noticed that there was a motorhome parked across from the club.  This is the current home of the supporters club, established in 1947 but now going through a messy separation from the club itself.  I won’t enter into the politics here as I’ve only heard it from the side of the lovely people I chatted to – Iris Smith and Malcolm Shearstone, chairperson and secretary respectively – but it seems an argument over providing travel for fans has led to a major falling out, and this motorhome is now their office after spending the rest of their existence within the ground itself.
I liked them both.  When people they knew passed by they would say “no surrender” and smile.  Iris gave me a supporters club badge, and we bonded over Leicester signing former Forest captain Wes Morgan a couple of years ago merely to annoy that lot at the City Ground.  Iris was a lady of coincidences, not least the fact that I mentioned going to Connah’s Key last week and she told me that her son used to play for them.  Tis a small world.  Hope the issues between them and the club get resolved; they mentioned that they currently have 500 members, which is a large percentage of County fans based on current gates.

Bidding them goodbye, I set off for the Kop end and entered the ground.  It has proper steps up to the stand, the kind that every end stand had when I was a kid.  It may be all seated now, but I remember coming to Meadow Lane in around 1991 to watch them play Sheffield Wednesday with my Uncle.  I was in the Wednesday end, County won and it was the first time that David Hirst – so often dubbed the “New Lineker” got seriously injured, hampering his promising career.
I bought a chocolate bar in the ground.  This may not sound like a big deal to some, but it was a Boost.  I love Boosts.  Even better, it meant breaking the Mars Bar / Kitkat / Twix monopoly that seems to have permeated into every single football club in the UK.  I also had a bottle of Pepsi, which I immediately regretted as it was a) bloody cold and b) removed of its lid, so I’d have to hold it till I drank it.  Bugger.  I know it’s for safety reasons and all that, but if I could throw a full bottle from my seat towards the pitch and hit a Wolves fan or player then I’d have the strongest arm in the land.
My seat had a great view, arguably the best I’ve had all season.  As I was one of the first in, I could watch the other fans arrive:  Older fans getting in earlier, familes coming in and hugging their friends, kids playing on phone games as their mum hung up a County scarf on the posts behind their seat.  The thing I really noticed was that everyone seemed to be friends with each other, in the same way that they were at Guiseley and Hastings but at a much bigger, older club.

Whilst I’m a big fan of the County away shirt, their home kit has a nineties feel about it, with a weird stripe configuration that could probably be scanned by a Tesco’s checkout assistant.  Still, it seems better than an older away kit that I saw a few people in, orange and black horizontal stripes that made anyone adorned with it seem like a hazard.
As I sat and watched the teams warm up, I looked up at the scoreboard to find that Jamie had given this blog (and me) and really nice mention and a big old plug.  I’ve only ever had my name on one other scoreboard (Filbert Street on my 21^st birthday) so this was a landmark moment for me. Cheers Jamie!
About ten minutes before kickoff, the fans behind me on the back row of the Kop started banging their drums.  Yes.  Plural.  And EVERYBODY around me clapped along and sung.  Every single person.  Miles ahead of kickoff.  I’ve only ever seen such loud support so early on at cup finals.  It might seem normal to most County fans, but in my duties as The Football Neutral I can assure you that this behaviour is a rarity, and it is bloody excellent.
The fans sang a song about a wheelbarrow.  I was not aware of this, but thanks to the magic of the internet I now know what it’s all about.  I think.  God bless Wikipedia.  Anyway, to the tune of “On Top Of Old Smokey” they sing:
“I had a wheelbarrow… the wheel fell off. I had a wheelbarrow, the wheel fell off.”
Makes no sense but sounds ace when sung by a load of people.  Lots of theories on where it came from – mocking Shrewsbury fans, a quote from Neil Warnock or commenting on a groundsman – but it certainly makes a difference from just adopting a 1960s pop song.
Ahead of kickoff I saw quite a touching moment.  County keeper Bartosz Bialkowski stood in his goal, head bowed, facing into his net, praying for a good minute or so.  Whilst I’m an atheist, you can’t help but be moved by someone who believes in something so vividly, and who has no problem demonstrating that faith in front of complete strangers and his team-mates.  He’s a quality keeper too, as was proved during the game several times.
Once the match was underway, the County support kept right behind their team.  Wolves are the first side I’ve seen twice this season, and I know all about their strengths:  Powerful winger Bakary Sako, playmaker James Henry, good centre backs in Richard Stearman and Danny Batth.  They’re at the top end of the table for a reason.  26 points separated the two sides before the game, but you wouldn’t have known that from the first half. Five minutes in, the County fans applauded wildly just because their side were applying good pressure on Wolves whilst they were in possession.  Shaun Derry had apparently called on his side to apply themselves, and the fans had chosen to be as vocal and supportive as they could be.
Marcus Haber was working on his own as a lone target man up front for County, and was working his socks off.  Full of running and power, he was chasing down lost causes and holding the ball up for his team-mates.  Haber is on loan from Stevanage, and another borrowed player with real quality is the tenacious Celtic loanee Callum McGregor, who has an air of James McCarthy of Everton about him.
And then there is Jamal Campbell-Ryce.  I’ve seen him before, for Rotherham and Barnsley.  The diminutive winger managed to score a few goals from wide last season, and he’s incredibly tricky.  Best bit is that he tackles back, works hard and when he’s on form can’t be knocked off the ball.  At one point in the first half he slipped over twice chasing across the Wolves defence for the ball, but still won it and created a good chance.  Even better, to the tune of the “Banana Splits” theme tune, the County fans sing “Campbell-Ryce, la la la la”.  THIS TUNE WILL NEVER LEAVE MY HEAD.
The County subs were doing their standard light jogging, and the massive Enoch Showunmi strode out in front of the Kop.  A few fans sung his name and I was reminded of a fact that I love: Enoch Powell made his famous “Rivers of Blood” speech in the 1960s, and now the only other Enoch that I know of is a Nigerian international professional footballer who was born in England.  Stick your incitement to racial hatred up your backside, Mr Powell.
(I know he can’t do that, being dead and all)
The game in the middle of the park was feisty, with Henry clashing with Alan Sheehan and David Davis putting in a horrible studs up tackle on Gary Liddle.  The Wolves man escaped more than a yellow by hurting himself in the challenge, but then Liddle gave him a receipt a couple of minutes later that the referee turned a blind eye to.
It was a good first half for Notts, but clear-cut chances were hard to come by.  That said, they contained a dangerous side in Wolves and looked a lot better than their league standing suggested.  The fans eagerly applauded them off, and it had to be said that the near 3,000 travelling Wolves fans were silenced by County playing above and beyond what was expected.
During half time I wish I had bought a flask, despite years of mocking my father for taking one to Leicester games in years gone by.  I also watched the game between members of a young local team, with the tannoy chap telling us the team in yellow were representing County, those in blue representing Wolves.  The blues scored an amazing goal from long distance, and then the yellow’s keeper had to go off with an injury that he sustained giving away a penalty.  The Wolves fans – closer to the action – got right behind the kids.  I would have loved to have done something like that when I was 10.  Even better, the teams were mixed – I watched a girl take a long throw in that I can only envy, even at 35 and doing weights every day.
As the second half kicked off, County picked up where they left off.  Campbell-Ryce went close, but Wolves had a new threat up front with Leigh Griffiths on for Davis.  Bialkowski was still a rock at the back though, making a few smart saves as County started to run low on ideas and energy.  Despite the amazing – and I do mean that, it was constantly brilliant – backing from the stands, a team in poor form can start losing belief if things don’t go their way.  As the goal didn’t come, Wolves got stronger and more threatening.
Carl Ikeme caught the ball from a County corner, threw it straight out to Sako who put Griffiths through – but again Bialkowski came out on top, this time in a tricky one on one situation. Then James Henry had a chance, with the tigerish McGregor tracking him all the way and harshly being booked for stopping the Wolves man when it looked like 50/50 competition for the ball.  Henry is clearly talented, but is the whiniest player I’ve seen so far this season.  Everything led to a complaint, and he could learn from his team-mate Sako who just seems to get on with his job.
It was Sako who won a free kick for Wolves on the left wing with his determination, and then delivered it for Ethan Ebanks-Landell to stab home his first senior goal in the 76^th minute.  And then I saw and heard something beautiful.
Before the free kick, the County fans were singing as loudly as they had throughout the entire game, drums being banged like we were in Rio rather than Nottingham.  As the goal went in, the volume dipped for just a second.  No more than that.  And then… it got louder again.  If anything, it became louder than ever before.  It wasn’t necessarily to will the team to score, if anything the fans are the most realistic I’ve met.  No, it was more to say “we don’t care, we still love you”.  It was a wonderful, amazing moment and something I’ll remember next time I watch City play and I hear people complaining because we’re not 6-0 up after ten minutes.
Derry made substitutions but his men were tired and shell-shocked by the goal after playing so well for over three quarters of the game.  As the County fans sang “you only sing when you’re winning” to their rivals, the lad behind me said, with a real tinge of sadness: “I can only imagine what that feels like, winning.”
I’ve also never seen as few fans leave early.  With ideas running out, very few people left.  If anything, as many Wolves fans made for the exits as County fans.  When the final whistle blew, the County fans applauded and then carried on singing as they headed home.
The result put Wolves top, where they’ll probably stay with the squad that they have and the fortress that is Molineux.  It puts Notts County bottom, 4 points away from safety and three defeats in a row for Shaun Derry as he starts his managerial career.  But I saw enough to be convinced that they’ll be fine, there’s quality there and they just need to start playing the right way.  They’re getting there.
And then there are those fans.  It may be a cliché, but if they count for anything then County would be near the top of League One.  Brilliant, committed, dedicated fans.  They deserve the world.  20,000 in Meadow Lane and the glory days of the early 1990s back at the club would be a sight to behold.
Summary
Notts County 0 vs Wolverhampton Wanderers 1 (Ebanks-Landell 76)
Attendance: 7,520
Cost: Ticket £22, Parking Free (already in town, walked to game), Burger £3 (outside ground), Boost and Pepsi £3 (inside ground)
Fun Factor: 9/10

The Wizard of Notts Recommends: Heritage Walks - Park Estate and Henry II

Heritage Walk: Park Estate

Meet: Nottingham Castle Gatehouse, off Friar Lane, Nottingham, Nottinghamshire, NG1 6EL 

 

 

A tour of the prestigious Park Estate takes you back to King Henry II’s time at Nottingham Castle to how & why the area was developed in the 19th century.
.

 

http://www.experiencenottinghamshire.com/whats-on/heritage-walk-park-estate-p462861

The Wizard of Notts Recommends: Hallowe'en: The 10 most haunted spots in Nottingham and Notts

http://www.nottinghampost.com/Hallowe-en-10-haunted-spots-Nottingham-Notts/story-19869216-detail/story.html?ito=email_newsletter_nottinghampost

The grounds of Newstead Abbey where a "White Lady" is said to walk.

Read more: http://www.nottinghampost.com/Hallowe-en-10-haunted-spots-Nottingham-Notts/story-19869216-detail/story.html?ito=email_newsletter_nottinghampost#ixzz2jJ7PYcCU

Galleries of Justice

Nottingham's old courthouse and jail are said to be haunted by criminals who were executed on the site.
There have been reports of footsteps and shadowy figures in the cave system.

Newstead Abbey
There are said to be several apparitions which haunt this monastic house, founded in the 12th century.
The White Lady, Rose Lady, Goblin Friar and Black Friar are all said to wander the halls and gardens where the poet Lord Byron once lived.

The Trip to Jerusalem
Built in 1189, this inn is reputed to be the oldest pub in England and was a favourite watering hole for the crusaders on the way to the Holy Land.
Among the many spooky legends surrounding the pub, is the curse of the model galleon. Hanging from the ceiling of the Rock Lounge, the model is covered is dust and cobwebs. No one will clean it because the last three people who did are said to have died mysteriously afterwards.
Staff have also heard the sound of breaking glass coming from the bar, but on going to sweep it up, cannot find any.
A clock in the bar is also said to be possessed by evil spirits, and wafts of old-fashioned scent often drift through the air.

British Transport Police Station, 1 Queens Street
The station is said to be haunted by the ghosts of former prisoners. One officer working alone at night heard a heavy door slam, and on going to investigate found a set of wet footprints leading the toilets even though the weather was dry.
Following the prints into the toilets, he found the room empty. Thirty years later, another officer spotted a man walk into the toilets - realising that he and his colleague should have been the only people on site, the officer looked into the room and found it empty.

Former Police Station, Canal Street
This Edwardian building was said to be haunted by moans and groans, banging and by a particular light being switched on by an unseen hand. The atmosphere in the pitch black cells and interview booths is said to be terrifying.

City of Caves, Broadmarsh shopping centre
The network of dark medieval caves underneath the Broadmarsh has been the scene of many spooky sightings.
Dark shadows have been seen darting around, and an upset woman in Victorian clothing has also been spotted. Some people report hearing the sound of explosions overhead - the caves were used as bomb shelters during the Second World War. Other people have reported stones being thrown, voices in ears and cloudy apparitions.

Bestwood Lodge Hotel, Arnold
Bestwood Lodge Hotel was the love nest of Nell Gwynn, an orange seller who later became an actress, and Charles II.
There have been a number of ghostly happenings at the hotel, which have been blamed on Nell. The family room is said to smell of oranges whenever children stay in the room. No orange peel is ever found, and the smell only ever occurs when children stay in the room, never when adults stay in the room alone.
Staff at the hotel also often see figures walking around the corridors.

Clifton Hall, Nottingham
This 52-room Grade I listed mansion was originally the home of the Clifton family in the 13th Century and is thought to have been built to aid defence in the area - it is perched on top of a cliff overlooking the River Trent.
Charles I stayed at the Hall in 1632 as a guest of Sir Gervase Clifton, who prepared for the visit by having works done on the property and its grounds.
The hall was opened as Clifton Hall Girls' Grammar School in 1958 and was then used by Nottingham Trent University from the school's closure in 1976 until the 2000s.
In 2006, businessman Anwar Rashid bought Clifton Hall - but had to give it up after eight months after a series of ghostly happenings.
Spectres took on the form of his children, he and his wife heard knocks on the walls, and bloodspots were found on his 18-month-old baby's quilt.
He brought in the investigators, but they were unable to stop the haunting.

Wollaton Hall
Room 19 of the 16th century hall is said to be haunted by Lady Middleton, who was paralysed after a fall. She spent the rest of her life in the room she now haunts. There is said to be some paranormal activity in the corridors and cellars beneath the hall.

The Bell Inn, Old Market Square
The ghost of Robert is said to walk through the restaurant, which is also haunted by two men who are seen sitting at a table before disappearing. The women's toilets are home to a female phantom, while a jester is said to stand outside the front door.

Read more: http://www.nottinghampost.com/Hallowe-en-10-haunted-spots-Nottingham-Notts/story-19869216-detail/story.html?ito=email_newsletter_nottinghampost#ixzz2jJ82qEKI

The Wizard of Notts Recommends: If you're on Carrington Street, visit Cappuchaino's

The Wizard of Notts says:

If you're on Carrington Street, there is a new Nottingham-folk owned place called Cappuchaino halfway down. WiFi and proper teas. Buy Local!

http://www.yesmagazine.org/issues/the-human-cost-of-stuff/bright-spots-on-main-street

Main Street Comeback: How Independent Stores are Thriving (Even in the Age of Amazon)

Despite behemoths like Starbucks and Amazon, the number of independent bookstores, coffeeshops, and other businesses is growing.         

 

 by Fran Korten                    

posted Oct 25, 2013

Photo by MorBCN

So we all know that the likes of Wal-Mart, Target, and Amazon are killing Main Street businesses, right? It’s certainly partly true. Those retailing behemoths have devastated a lot of communities across the country, and they’re still growing.

But, there are some surprising bright spots on Main Street. I heard about them at the annual Business Alliance for Local Living Economies (BALLE) conference, where more than 600 high-energy people strategized about the transition to a more localized, Main Street economy. Stacy Mitchell of the Institute for Local Self-Reliance (ILSR) told me of independent retailers that are thriving.

Click here to subscribe to YES!

One surprising comeback, Mitchell says, is independent bookstores. Yes, even in the age of e-books and Amazon, independents are growing: For the last four years, their numbers and total sales have grown, despite the recession. In 2009 there were 1,651 independent bookstores in the United States. Today there are more than 1,900.
Bookstores aren’t the only retail sector where independents are expanding. Local coffee shops have grown faster than Starbucks. Bakers and specialty food stores are thriving. Independent pharmacies and pet, fabric, and stationery stores are growing too.
How do they compete with the giants? One factor is the “buy local” ethic so evident at the BALLE conference and promoted by other groups such as the American Independent Business Alliance. ILSR reports that 2012 sales at independent businesses in cities with “buy local” campaigns grew 8.6 percent while those that did not have such campaigns grew 3.4 percent.
Independents are also capitalizing on their ability to win loyalty by hosting events, such as author talks at bookstores. And bookstore owners have learned to feature high margin items such as notecards, toys, and chocolate.

Like what you’re reading? YES! is nonprofit and relies on reader support. Click here to chip in $5 or more to help us keep the inspiration coming.

The public is realizing that buying from local independent stores supports the community and keeps more dollars circulating locally. I watched my local fabric store’s sales force march in our town’s 4th of July parade, showing the quilts they donate to injured vets. I was glad I had chosen to purchase my upholstery fabric at that store, even though I was tempted to shop at a big chain that had greater variety on display.
So, besides shopping at their stores, what can we do to help our local retailers? We can't do much about the big boxes’ ability to get major discounts from suppliers and pummel the public with advertising. But we can protest when local governments give tax abatements and free land to the retail giants. Indiana, for example, gave Amazon $11 million to locate five warehouses in the state, according to Fortune magazine.

Welcome to Commonomics: How to Build Local Economies Strong Enough for Everyone

We can also press our local governments to collect taxes from online retailers. Fortune says that Amazon built its empire on the advantage of not having to collect sales tax in any state but Washington, where it is based. But states are exercising new clout. ILSR reports that new state laws and agreements require Amazon to collect sales tax in 10 states representing more than one-third of the U.S. population. In May, the U.S. Senate passed the Marketplace Fairness Act, requiring online retailers with sales of more than $1 million to collect taxes on all U.S. sales. The House, as of July, had only sent the bill to committee.
So don’t think Main Street is down for the count. As the “buy local” ethic continues to gain momentum, as stores get creative in using their local advantage, and as online sales lose their tax advantage, the lights may again shine bright on Main Street.

---

Fran Korten wrote this article for the Human Cost of Stuff, the Fall 2013 issue of YES! Magazine. Fran is publisher of YES!